feeling broken into a millon pieces

i wake up with no man to hold me or to just say good morning beautiful. i wake up drowning in my sorrows over lost love. my boyfriend of 12 1/2yrs who fathered 2 of my three boys just told me that the whole time that we were together he cheated on me with my friend that was as he puts it his ex girlfriend (whatever )is pragnent with his kid am i sopposed to take that, he says what should i do tell her to keep the kid or help her by raising the kid WTF am i sopposed to care i thought he loved me & that i was his whole life im 38 i don't need this shit i gave him everything i could give my heart soul my undying love & devotion i have never cheated on anyone that i have ever dated when im with someone im devoted to that person mind body & soul i give them my heart i cook, clean, give them what ever they need when ever the need it i put them above myself only to have selfestem rip to shreds im slowing dying inside from this evil torment i call my hell of a life i cant even look him in the face with out wanting to punch his lights out where do i go from here. i never dreamed this would be my life i had goals with big dreams attached owning a house my own car but no i settled for less cause i thought i was his world so my dreams didnt matter to me he did. big mistake beleaving in him like i did. now i miss living my life going to the movies concerts clubbing dinner in the park camping i love the great outdoors but whos gonna want a mom with three kids whos just a deli clerk with no real future unles i go back to my nursing witch i loved alot right now i guess i have to try to move forward get into shape look super hot so i can find a real man to love me for me imperfections & all. i thought i was a wonderful person with a great personalty so full of life busting at the seems but now im a overly horney mom of three boys who hasent made love in 4 months now looking for a freash start some where new where i can be me happy all the time. so my wings are free to room with out restraints or restrictions i still feel alone in this world no one to talk to about my problem that understands & that wont judge me or redicule me for my choice that i have made in my life i get enough from my mom who i cant stand half the time or my sister who just dont give a rats ass one way or another. will thats my rant about my broken heart. never give your heart away unless that person give you theres in return, by sabrina maul

my emotions

living in a world that is surronded by hate, leaving hearts split in to with no end in sight. can ruin your soul. thats the life of a of a gang member, rapest, sereal killer, child molester, but in all truth its each & every one of us living on the edge till the point of no return. we can beat our selves senseless by our crimes weather it be cruel or of extreme sexual passion to end up alone in this deep whole that we have made for our souls to sleep in for all eternity by the time that we realize where we r its to late to recover cause we r dead lying in a wooden box burred with all our hopes & dreams that never had a chance to shine. who r we but nobody cause no 1 cares about us evil doers or thiefs born from the devil himself.


by JBR_GrlSabrina

thank goodness i'm not one of them